The pressure of being a new mum is real. You’re running on no sleep, your hormones are all over the place, and the internet is throwing parenting advice at you like confetti you never asked for. When I had my first baby, I was anti-everything. Anti-advice, anti-routines, anti-anyone telling me what I “should” be doing. I just wanted to go with the flow, do things my way, and let motherhood unfold naturally. And in many ways, that was okay. But one thing I truly regret not exploring sooner? Baby sign language. When my second arrived, I gave it a genuine try—and what happened changed how I understood early communication, my baby’s experience, and my own mental health as a parent.
What Is Baby Sign Language?
Baby sign language involves using simple, consistent hand signs—drawn from formal sign languages like Auslan or ASL, or simplified versions thereof—to communicate with a baby before they can speak. Babies typically develop the motor control to sign before they develop the vocal ability to produce words, which means signing can open a communication window at around 6–9 months—often several months before verbal speech emerges. You don’t need to know full sign language; most parents use a small set of key signs for everyday needs: milk, more, eat, sleep, all done, water, help, hurt.
7 Lessons I Learned the Second Time Around
1. The Frustration Crying Reduced Significantly
One of the most challenging aspects of life with an infant is the communication gap—the period where your baby clearly has needs and experiences but cannot yet tell you what they are. With signing, that gap narrows. When my second baby could sign “milk” at eight months, the specific crying that came from hunger became largely avoidable. When she could sign “hurt,” the panic of not knowing why she was distressed transformed into the ability to respond. The overall reduction in frustrated crying—from both of us—was genuinely significant.
2. It Doesn’t Delay Speech—It Supports It
This is the concern I hear most from parents considering baby sign language: won’t it make them lazy about learning to talk? The research says no. Multiple studies have found that babies who sign do not experience delayed speech and often develop verbal communication slightly earlier, because signing reinforces the connection between objects, concepts, and communication. The intent is the same whether expressed through sign or speech—signing simply gives babies an earlier vehicle for that intent while speech develops.
3. It Offers a Window Into Your Baby’s Mind
One of the most profound and unexpected gifts of baby signing was getting to see what my baby was thinking and noticing. She would sign “dog” when she saw a picture of an animal. She would sign “bird” when she heard a sound outside. She would sign “more” in contexts that showed she was making conceptual generalisations. These moments—before she could say a single word—gave me a glimpse of an active, curious mind working things out, which made the parenting experience feel like genuine connection rather than just service delivery.
4. The Emotional Attunement Benefits Were Real
When a baby can tell you they’re in pain, hungry, or frightened—and be understood—the parent-infant relationship feels less like guessing and more like genuine communication. This shift in dynamic is not just practically useful; it’s emotionally significant. The experience of being understood, even in rudimentary ways, is foundational to a secure attachment. I felt more attuned to my second baby from an earlier age than I did with my first, and I believe signing played a meaningful role in that.
5. It’s Simpler to Start Than It Looks
When I first looked into baby signing, the resources seemed overwhelming—formal classes, DVDs, entire curriculum packages. But in practice, I started with five signs: milk, more, eat, sleep, all done. I signed them consistently every time I said the word, starting around five months. By eight months, my daughter was signing back. You don’t need to be a signing expert—you just need to be consistent and patient. There are free resources on YouTube that show the basic signs clearly and simply.
6. It Made Me More Intentional About Communication
The practice of consciously signing required me to slow down, make eye contact, and narrate what I was doing more deliberately. “It’s time for milk,” accompanied by the milk sign, became a ritual of connection rather than just a feeding. This intentionality spilled over into how I talked and played with my baby more generally—I became more present, more narrating, more attuned. The benefits went beyond the signs themselves. For more on the power of early intentional parenting, our article on the 95% rule of time with your child is a meaningful companion read.
7. I Wish I’d Given Myself Permission to Try Things Earlier
The biggest lesson isn’t about signing at all—it’s about the cost of being anti-advice when some advice is genuinely useful. My resistance to parenting guidance with my first child came from a healthy impulse toward autonomy, but it also meant I missed things that could have made both of us more comfortable. I wish I’d been more discerning: sceptical of prescriptive parenting dogma, but open to evidence-based approaches that respected both my baby’s needs and my own wellbeing. For a grounding perspective on parenting identity and choices, our piece on parenting approaches and resilience offers useful context.
Frequently Asked Questions
When should I start teaching baby sign language?
You can begin introducing signs from as early as four to six months, even though babies typically won’t sign back until seven to twelve months. Starting early means the signs are familiar by the time your baby has the motor control to use them. Consistency matters more than timing—using the same sign every time you say the word, repeatedly, is what creates the association.
Will baby signing confuse my child?
No. Babies are extraordinary language learners and can manage multiple communication systems simultaneously. Exposure to both spoken language and signs enriches rather than confuses the language-learning process. Many families who use baby signing in multilingual households report it as an additional communication layer that integrates smoothly with the other languages their child is learning.
What signs should I start with?
Start with the signs most relevant to your baby’s daily needs: milk, more, eat, all done, and sleep cover the majority of early communication needs. From there, add signs for things your baby shows interest in: dog, cat, bird, ball, water, book. The more relevant and frequently used the sign, the faster it’s learned. Keep it simple, consistent, and connected to real moments in your day.
Rubie Le’Faine is the founder and editor-in-chief of Rubie Rubie. She holds a Level 3 Certificate in Counselling Skills and has spent over eight years studying attachment theory, cognitive behavioural principles, and the psychology of human relationships — combining formal training with the kind of lived experience that shapes genuine understanding. Rubie founded this platform in 2022 after her own journey through relationship breakdown, reinvention, and the quiet work of rediscovering who she was. Her writing bridges the gap between clinical research and lived reality — warm, honest, and always grounded in what readers actually need to hear. Based in Surrey, UK, she writes about emotional well-being, identity, and the art of building a life that genuinely fits.
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