Why I Want a Diagnosis: Six Psychological Reasons We Seek Labels

For the past year, I’ve found myself obsessively reading articles, scrolling through social media posts, and even taking online quizzes—searching for an explanation. An explanation for why my child struggles in social situations, why I’ve always felt like an outsider, or why simple tasks seem overwhelming when they don’t for others. Could it be ADHD? Autism? A personality disorder? The thought of a label is both terrifying and comforting, like finally having a name for something that has always been there but never fully understood. But as I dive deeper, I wonder—am I searching for a diagnosis, or am I searching for something else? Psychology suggests there are underlying reasons we seek labels for ourselves or our children, and these six stand out the most.

1. Understanding Why We Are Different

For as long as I can remember, I’ve felt out of sync with the world around me. My reactions are too intense, my thoughts too scattered, my focus too easily lost. If a diagnosis could explain why I’m not like my friends or why my child doesn’t behave like other kids, it would make it easier to accept. Instead of feeling broken or wrong, we could see ourselves through the lens of a recognized condition.

2. Validation Through a Label

There’s comfort in knowing that what I feel isn’t “just in my head.” If my struggles have a name, they become real. A diagnosis legitimizes my experiences—it tells me I’m not lazy, overly sensitive, or simply “too much.” It provides an external validation that my difficulties aren’t a personal failure, but rather, a recognized way of being.

3. A Way to Justify Behavior

It’s easier to explain why I snap at people, struggle with social events, or why my child refuses to follow the rules when I can say, “It’s because of ADHD” or “They’re autistic.” A label shifts the responsibility—it’s not defiance or rudeness; it’s a neurological difference. Instead of feeling guilt or pressure to conform, I can embrace the idea that our behaviors are simply part of who we are.

4. A Desire for Uniqueness

There’s something intriguing about standing apart from the norm. Society celebrates neurodiversity, and having a diagnosis feels like belonging to a special group. I sometimes wonder—do I want a label because it truly describes me, or because it makes me feel more interesting? Do I want my child to be seen as unique rather than simply “difficult”? The idea of a diagnosis makes our differences feel significant rather than something to be fixed.

5. A Way to Gain Sympathy and Understanding

People are more patient and forgiving when they understand there’s a reason behind certain behaviors. Instead of being labeled “flaky” or “irresponsible,” ADHD makes it understandable why I forget things or struggle with time management. If my child has a diagnosis, teachers, family, and strangers might be less judgmental about their struggles. Seeking a label, in some ways, is a way to ask the world for more grace.

6. Self-Diagnosis as a Response to Social Media and Information Overload

It’s impossible to scroll through Instagram or read a magazine without seeing stories of people who were “finally diagnosed” in adulthood or who discovered their child had a disorder after years of confusion. I see their symptoms and think, That sounds like me. In a world where awareness is at an all-time high, it’s tempting to self-diagnose instead of seeking professional evaluation. The more I read, the more I see myself in these stories, and the more I convince myself I must have something.

The Search for a Name—Or for Something More?

At the heart of it, I have to ask myself: do I want a diagnosis because it’s truly needed, or because it gives me a sense of identity, validation, or even relief? Labels can be incredibly helpful, but they can also shape the way we see ourselves and our children, for better or worse. While I still find myself searching, I’m learning to ask the harder questions—ones that go beyond a diagnosis and into what I truly need to understand about myself and my child.

Love Cass XOXO