6 Ways to Set Boundaries: Addressing Family Body Shaming for Better Mental Health

Telling your family that their comments about your body are affecting your mental health can be tough, but it’s an important step in setting boundaries and protecting yourself. Here’s how you can approach it:

1. Pick the Right Time and Place

Choose a calm, private moment when everyone is relaxed. Avoid bringing this up during heated arguments or family gatherings where emotions might already be running high.

2. Be Honest but Kind

Speak from your own perspective, focusing on how their words make you feel. For example:“I wanted to talk to you about something that’s been on my mind. I know you care about me, but when comments are made about my body, it really impacts my mental health. I’d appreciate it if we could focus on other things instead.”

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Let them know what you need moving forward. You could say:“I’m working on building a positive relationship with my body, and it would mean so much if we could avoid conversations about weight or appearance.”

4. Make It About Your Well-Being

Frame the conversation around your mental and emotional health rather than blaming them. For example:“I know you might think these comments are helpful or just joking, but they actually make me feel self-conscious and affect my confidence.”

5. Prepare for Resistance

Some family members might not understand right away. Stay calm and repeat your boundaries if needed. You can say:“I understand this might be hard to adjust to, but this is really important to me.”

6. Have an Exit Plan

If they dismiss your feelings or continue the behavior, it’s okay to step away from the conversation or even limit your time around them. Protecting your peace is priority.

Example Conversation

"Hey, I wanted to bring something up that’s been bothering me. I know you love me and want the best for me, but when comments are made about my weight or how I look, it really hurts. I’ve been working hard on feeling confident in myself, and I need our conversations to focus on things that uplift me. Can we agree to avoid discussing my body from now on?”

It’s not easy, but standing up for yourself is an act of self-love. You’re prioritizing your mental health, and that’s something to be proud of.

Ending the conversation on a positive, hopeful note can help reinforce your intentions and show that you value your relationship with your family. Here's a closing paragraph you could use:

"I’m sharing this with you because I care about our relationship and want to feel supported and understood. I know change takes time, and I’m not expecting perfection, but I truly believe this shift will help us grow closer and create a more positive environment for everyone. Thank you for listening and for being willing to support me in this way—it really means a lot."

This approach leaves the door open for understanding and emphasizes mutual respect, which can make the conversation feel less confrontational.

Love Rubie